A typical phone call home:

Get to the phone.
Some days this means go sign in, get a number, wait in line thirty minutes, name called out, go to phone. Some days its easier. Some days it is not as easy.
Dial thirty-three numbers.
Busy.
Dial thirty three numbers.
Get ex. Ex is still at work, not at home. Get number son is at. Remind ex that today is other sons birthday, perhaps son could call him and wish him happy birthday?
Ex asks if when I call, and no-one picks up, could I call back, because sometimes the phone is in the other room, and they don't pick up in time, and son is sad when he misses my call. I agree.
Hang up.
Dial thirty three numbers.
Get answering machine.
Tell answering machine date and time and ask that son call other son, who has birthday today.
Hang up.
Dial thirty three numbers. Voicemail, called ex’s number by accident. FML.
Hang up.
Dial thirty three numbers.
Call does not go through.
Dial thirty three numbers.
Call does not go through.
Dial thirty three numbers.
“This card is currently in use”
Hang up, pick up phone, hang up, pick up phone, hang up.
Pick up phone. Dial thirty three numbers.
Third ring, wife picks up.
Talk to her for a minute. Talk to the boy for a couple minutes.
Wish him happy birthday.
Talk to the wife for a couple minutes.
Wife asks the daughters if they want to say 'hi' to daddy.
They say "no". Odds are, as soon as she hangs up, they will change their minds and scream for an hour.
She won't be able to call me if that happens, she'll have to wait for the next time I call.
Talk for a minute.
Get disconnected.
Hang up. Pick up phone.
Dial thirty three numbers, busy signal.
Hang up.