November 02, 2010

So each day we have a big briefing.

On the JOC floor, where everything happens.

Think of, in the movies, when NASA launches a mission. All the guys at computers

and phones, organizing shit.

We organize RC(S), the second busiest quarter of Afghanistan.

And each day we have a briefing on everything that is going on.

In the same room as everything is STILL going on.

SO.......

usually its quiet while the briefing happens.

Once in a while, an event comes through.

Like yesterday, DURING the briefing, we got the MEDEVAC mission for 8 US

CAT A soldiers.

When you get hurt, and we assess you, we categorize it.

Cat C, you'll live, but should be seen by a doctor, MEDEVAC within 24 hours.

Cat B, you are stable, MEDEVAC within 4 hours.

CAT A. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

So we had 8 cat a yesterday, during the briefing.

So, when a 9 liner comes in (a 9 liner is a MEDEVAC request, called so because it has 9 lines),

we usually yell it out so everyone in the room hears it.

For yesterdays event, one of the senior people in the room said "9 liner" loud enough for

everyone who needs to know to know, but not so loud as to mess up the brief. Makes

sense, right?

Today, again during the brief, we had another 9-liner, this one for 4 CAT A ANA. The ANA

are the Afghan National Army. They do something like what we do, with less equipment, training,

pay, medical care. So four of them were in a truck and hit an IED. MEDEVAC.

So I see it, I say "9 liner" in a tone of voice quiet, but loud enough to be heard. JUST IN CASE

the people in medops two rows behind me are tieing their shoes, or looking at the speaker, or ANYTHING besides looking at the screen (and there is ALWAYS the chance that the message came through on my screen and not theirs, THAT HAPPENED EARLIER THIS WEEK).

THEN

I take the grid coordinates that show where the patients are, and the grids are wrong.

The Army has a complicated grid system for the whole world. A grid looks like 41 RSR 41689 98888. Thats a grid that makes sense. Other grids are NOT POSSIBLE IN AFGHANISTAN. The grid that is given is NOT POSSIBLE IN AFGHANISTAN.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Someone typed in the wrong grid. Too easy, I check on a second type of program to be sure. yep, does not work. So I post in teh chatroom we use

"request confirm on that grid" or words to that effect.

And the medops chief of operations sends me a private chat to the effect of "the grid is correct:,

So I'm like "roger"

and

I go check again.

Because thats the kind of soldier I am.

AND ITS WRONG.

So I say in the private chat, no, grids still not working on two programs.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She posts updated grid.

BUT

NEW GRID IS EVEN WRONGER.

See, all Army grids have an even number of grid digits.41 RSR 41689 98888Makes sense, 10 digits.41 RSR 4168 9888less accurate, but still makes sense, 8 digits.41 RSR 416 988less accurate, still makes sense, 6 digits.An army grid CANNOT have an odd number of digits.

This grid she has reposted has 9 numbers.SO IT CAN NOT BE RIGHT.

I SAY AGAIN, CAN NOT BE RIGHT.

so I post "grid given has 9 digits"

a minute goes by

she sends me a private chat message with the full grid.

BUT NOONE POSTS FULL GRID IN THE CHATROOM.

So I wait for a minute, see there is still no accurate grid, and copy the line with her saying the full grid and paste it intothe chat room window.


SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAfter the briefing she comes downand first informs methat we dont say anything during the briefingandthat her medops people were tracking the eventandthat we are all intelligent peopleand we could have easilyseen that the numbers from the first WRONG gridwhen combined with the letters from the second WRONG gridmade a POSSIBLE grid, so CLEARLY that was the right oneand my posts added to the confusion.

Yep.My battle captain stood up for me.The best moment was when he asked if the whole grid had ever been posted,And she said "yes, of course"and I squintedand looked closely at my screenand said"i can only find it posted here, at 1929"and my captain says "didnt you post that?"And I said "yes".Precious.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosomeone taught me a trick about lies. When someonesays something to you and it makes no sense, reverseit and see if that makes more sense.So:

You shouldnt have talked during the brief!We had it under control!We are all smart people here!YOur comments added to the confusion!I'm mad!

does not make sense.Try this on for size:You did the right thing talking during the brief!We didnt see that event and you pointed out for everyone what we had not noticed.You are an idiot!Your comments made sense and pointed out my mistake!I'm mad because you made me look stupid!


Odd how the second version seems to make sense and be believablewhile the first doesn't.

So that's what I did today: I made an officer mad at me by doing my job.